Sometimes when you call me, I feel like I need to whisper so that I don't break the delicate web of memories that holds us together still. At other times, I feel like I need to shout at the top of my lungs to deafen the uncertain pounding in my heart. But always, always after we hang up, I feel like crying because I don't understand how we could have come to this when we had been so inseperable. It reminds me of all those times those last few months we were together when it was more lonely being in your arms than being alone and how much I missed you even when you were sitting right next to me talking, eating or driving and yet I still missed you, missed you, missed you.
I like to think that we are like protagonists in a Donne poem, that we don't need physical presence to survive but the truth is, I.Need.You. I need all of you not just the reassuarance of your voice on the telephone.
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